Properties of Noise
by Janna Silver Hawkins
Summary: He should have learned to never make the assumption that the TARDIS is where he told her to go...


This originally started out as a Nine fic but for some reason it turned into a Ten one. Well enjoy anyway!

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"You said 'hey, Rose, theres this great little uninhabited planet with amazing beaches, lets go have a fun day at the seashore' and I actually believed you! When will I ever learn?!" Rose all but shouted at the Doctor as they were pressed even further back against a large tree.

The creatures doing the pushing stopped for a moment to stare at the noisy yellow and pink creature in front of them before resuming their spear-waving.

The Doctor grimaced and pointed his sonic screwdriver ineffectually at the closest spear. "Oi! It isn't like I meant for this to happen! We must have gotten in the way of a plasma st-! Ouch! Watch where you're pointing that!"

"Well this is definitely not any sort of beach and I'm being threatened by creatures who look like a cross between Orcs and big ugly green lizards so don't you go spouting off any technobabble to try and explain whats going on. I've not had anything to eat since yesterday, I seriously need a bath, and most importantly I_ need to pee! Now get us out of this or you're going to find yourself trying to hang onto the TARDIS while we're in the vortex!_"

Rose's voice rose so high on the last sentence that the creatures whimpered and dropped their spears as they all fell to their knees, holding their hands over their heads.

The Doctor blinked and stared at Rose with his mouth hanging open. Then as the creatures started to get to their feet he grabbed her hand and took off towards the little blue box in the distance.

~..~

As soon as they were inside the safety of the TARDIS he turned to her with a wide grin.

"So, was that quick enough for you?"

She ignored him and all but ran for her bathroom.

~..~

When she finally came back out he was underneath the console with the sonic screwdriver, tinkering with some circuit or other part of the TARDIS that needed to be fixed at that moment.

"Doctor?"

A loud 'thunk' followed by a muffled Gallifreyan curse-at least she thought it was Gallifreyan, the TARDIS refused to translate-preceded his rather undignified emergence from the hole.

"What is it, Rose?" he asked, whilst rubbing the top of his head.

"Oh I was just wondering what you were doing."

He frowned. "And you had to call me away from my work to ask?"

"Well I didn't ask you to come out from there. All I did was say your name and then you banged your head on the grating," she said with a smirk.

He pulled himself onto the grating to sit next her. "Alright fine, I admit you did surprise me a bit. Now, is there something you wanted?"

"Yeah. I want to know how you could've gotten 'vacation on an uninhabited tropical beach' mixed up with 'evergreen forest containing hostile aliens who want to cook us for tea'."

"It wasn't my fault. Like I was trying to say earlier we must have run into a plasma storm which misaligned the temporal coordinates and mucked up the spatial stasis banks which caused us to veer off course."

She shook her head slowly. "Without the technobabble, please?"

"A storm messed up the systems, made us land in wrong place"

Rose glared at him. "That was too way to simplified."

The Doctor shrugged. "You wanted the easy explanation. I gave it to you."

"Whatever. Where to next?"

"Should we try for the beaches again?"

"Yes, please. And one more thing: why did those creatures let us go when I yelled at them?"

"Well, I think they may have extremely sensitive auditory receptors."

"You mean that they have really sensitive hearing?"

He looked at her strangely. "Thats what I just said. You understood what I said?"

"That much I did. Payed enough attention in school to get through biology."

"Right. Well, when you yelled they must have been overwhelmed by the noise and dropped their spears and let us go."

"So...if we run into them again all I need to do is yell at the top of my lungs?"

"Yeah. And they're not the only sound-sensitive creatures out there. Imagine this: we're facing down a ravenous creature and you do is yell at it and it runs away to hide its poor aching ears. Also I may never need to use my sonic screwdriver again! All I'll need to do is call you and we could get any door open your voice was so high!"

Rose poked him in the arm "Come off it, Doctor. I wasn't that loud."

He smirked and continued, ignoring her glare "All hail Rose Tyler, the Earth girl with a voice that brings fear to every violent creature with sensitive hearing in every galaxy."

She favoured him with a slap that would have made Jackie Tyler proud.


End file.
